From One "Beotch" to Another - TMR

At a little past 6AM today, I tuned in again to TMR "on Manila's Monster Radio, RX93.1" as I was curious to know what topic Chico and Del had cooked up. Fortunately, it was one I'm well familiar with since the key word for today's theme was "beotch". Okay, so maybe not quite since the root word would be that which is often referred to a canine of the female kind--a word I so often use that it's even in the by-line of my signature in ymail.

The given: What do you say to a beotch who says to you, "Alam mo (You know), b*tchy ka (you're a b*tch)."

Most liked answers (by me, of course!):

- "The next time I need your useless opinion, I'll ask for it."

- "...only to you"

- "Next time, tell me something I don't know."

- "Bakit? Nakalimutan ko?"

- "Oh wait, nobody told me. Since when did your opinion start to matter?"

- "Is this my cue to fake that I'm hurt?"

- "Alam mo, it's painful talking to idiots."

- "Pasalamat ka wala kang leeg. Kung hindi, sinakal na kita."

- "And yet there are still people who hang around me. And you...?"

- "So aside from stating the obvious, what else can you do?"

- "Twinkle, twinkle little snitch. Mind your business little b*tch!"

- "Talk to me again when I become dumb enough to listen to you."

- "Even though we're birds of the same feather, we are NOT flocking together."

- "Yes, I am...a Beautiful Individual That Challenges Hoes."

- "Talk to the hand...and for complaints, consult my middle finger."

-->I listed more than the usual 10 because I thought they were catchy and totally useful later on...(~_^) *wink*

Like I always say, "I'm a sweet b*tch, go figure." (^o^)y

Making TMR A Daily Habit

I really enjoy listening to Chico and Del of RX 93.1 (Monster Radio)'s The Morning Rush (a.k.a., TMR) every chance I get. They rarely fail to disappoint me. Their comments and segues on their Daily Top 10 are so random and funny that a lot of their listeners would agree with me when I say they make my face hurt from laughing. Yesterday's topic was another winner. I managed to catch some of the entries sent in even though I was at work and feeling a bit woozy from meds I took for my allergic rhinitis. Other people might not necessarily concur but I think it's really better when Chico does the impersonations involved. Del's reactions also add flavour to the segment so s'all good. Some of these may seem old but I'd like to share them anyway so...read on.

The topic: Top 10 Things A Saucy Yaya (househelp/nanny/maid) Would Say

10) Yaya goes to her employer and says: "Madam, I quit. I resign. I'm moving to the neighbour's house. And if you're asking why, the answer's too obvious. They have WiFi!"

9) Madam calls out, "Yaya!" The one being called comes up to the madam and retorts, "I have a name, you know!"

8) Madam comments on Yaya's profile picture in Facebook. "Wow, Yaya! Your so pretty in your profile picture!" Yaya smugly replies, "Of course! Only Adobe touches my skin."

7) Madam has a party to attend and is looking for her boa (aside: not the snake). Yaya condescendingly verifies, "Oh, you mean the faux fur that retails for 100 pesos?"

6) Madam brings Yaya to the US. Madam tells Yaya, "We have The Filipino Channel here. Do you want to watch Wowwowwee (popular Philippine variety show)?" Yaya sniffs and says, "Hello! We're in Chicago. I prefer Oprah."

5) Yaya's friend comes to her to demand payment for an old debt. Yaya witheringly says to her friend, "It's not my fault you don't have PayPal!"

4) Madam calls Yaya and gives her three thousand pesos. "Here's three thousand pesos for market." Yaya eyes the money in her hand and asks, "Three thousand? Seriously?!"

3) Yaya walks up to madam and declares, "Madam, the San Miguel stocks are doing very well now. It'd be a good idea to sell some to gain profit. I've already sold some of mine. Have you?"

2) Yaya calls madam from the province through Skype after having received a text message from the latter. Madam angrily asks, "Yaya, why didn't you say you were going home to the province?" To which Yaya defensively replies, "Duh! I posted it on Google+!"

and the topper to the Top 10 Things A Saucy Yaya Would Say

1) Madam commends Yaya for a job well done. "Yaya, you did a really good job. How ever do you do it?" Yaya simply acknowledges this and says, "Madam, expertise without integrity is empty. Integrity without expertise is ineffectual. Expertise and integrity without service is irrelevant."

Now don't you think a dose of TMR is one of the best ways to start your day with a smile?